Monday, August 15, 10:30 PM. Amy.

Claire is breaking our hearts with these horses.

They’re doing extremely well. Two have died but the others seem stronger. They’re beautiful animals and they love to see us. We go each day to check on them and feed them. She always dreamed of having a horse and we always dreamed of it on her behalf, but now… We never dreamed of these circumstances.

On Saturday we let her ride. She’s taken lessons for years and is quite the little equestrian.

You should have seen her face. So elegant, the queen of all she surveys. And the pony, “Princess”…well they adore each other.

But it makes it harder to thinking about bundling everyone in the car (even the dog and cat?) and leaving when we know we could return to dead horses. It would destroy Claire. She has already lost so much. We all have. The horses have given her something to love, something to keep when everything else has been taken.

And yet we can’t stay here forever. We need to know what happened. We need to know whether anyone is left. What are a few horses to that?

Brewer and Garrett have discovered a farm with some cattle that are still alive. They’re in a similar situation to the horses, with access to water and a little food, and that’s kept them going. A creek runs through it, “almost a river,” Brewer says. The cows were keeping themselves watered with that and there’s plenty of grass in the pasture. I haven’t seen the place, but he says it’s lovely and could be a good choice if we chose to settle here for a while.

It’s so hard to know what to do.