I just finished teaching a series of lessons on divorce and remarriage for the young married couples’ class at our church. The passages we studied reopened my eyes to the Bible’s surprising—and oft-ignored—teaching on these crucial and difficult topics. I thought I’d share with you the passages we considered and the insights that emerged from looking closely at them.
In future posts I will consider each passage in turn and explain why I think it means what it does. By looking at each passage you can make up your own mind. In the meantime, so that you see where I’m going, let me begin with my conclusions.
- God hates divorce. (No surprises there, I hope.)
- Just two explicit exceptions are offered for when it’s “okay” to divorce. They are sexual unfaithfulness (Matt 5:32) and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Cor 7:15). It’s possible that other exceptions exist, but the Bible doesn’t mention any. And yes, we need to look at what “okay” and “not okay” mean in this context. What’s at stake?
- Divorce is only divorce when sexual unfaithfulness is involved. That is, you can get a court to call you divorced, you can call yourself divorced, but in God’s eyes a couple is only truly “unbound” by two things: death or adultery. Consequently, if a “divorced” person gets remarried, the Bible calls that adultery (Matt 5:32; 19:9).
The bottom line is that much of what we call divorce, the Bible calls separation. As a result, much of what we call remarriage, the Bible calls adultery. But there are exceptions.
Don’t take my word for it! If you care what the Bible says about these things, study the passages for yourself. I’ll walk you through it, but I hope you come to your own conclusions in good conscience.
I began by gathering a list of all the Biblical passages that talk about divorce and remarriage. There aren’t as many as you think. Here’s the complete list along with a summary of each.
| Gen 2:24 | Foundational biblical passage on marriage: “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” |
| Deut 24:1–4 | Case law prohibiting a man from remarrying his wife after divorcing her and she has then been remarried. Mentions (doesn’t actually prescribe) writing a certificate of divorce—apparently the basis for the tradition Jesus countermands in Matt 5:32, Mark 10:4, and Matt 19:7. |
| Ezra 10:2–3 | A remnant of Israelites return to Israel after the Exile. They have married women from pagan nations and resolve to divorce these women as an act of devotion to God’s law, which prohibited Israelite intermarriage. |
| Mal 2:16 | God declares forcefully, “I hate divorce.” |
| Matt 5:32 | A man who divorces his wife—unless she has been sexually unfaithful—”causes her to commit adultery”, and if she remarries, the man who marries her also commits adultery. |
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Mark 10:2–12;
Matt 19:3–9
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Jesus responding to question from Pharisees. “What God has joined together, let man not separate.” Also, anyone who remarries after divorce—unless the divorce was prompted by marital unfaithfulness by the other person—commits adultery. |
| Rom 7:2–3 | Example of the law’s jurisdiction over the living only: a marriage is dissolved by the death of the husband, such that even remarriage—which would otherwise be adultery—is no longer considered adultery. |
| 1 Cor 6:6–8 | Paul gets very upset about Christians suing other Christians. It drags Christ’s name through the mud. “Why not rather be wronged?! Why not rather be cheated?!” |
| 1 Cor 6:16 | Even a one-night tryst with a prostitute creates a permanent “one flesh” bond. |
| 1 Cor 7:10–16 | Most complete NT teaching on divorce and remarriage. A complicated passage with extensive and important context. The basic message is this. Don’t get divorced. If you do, don’t ever marry anyone else. But one exception for divorce: if you’re married to an unbeliever and they decide to go, let them go. |
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1 Tim 3:2, 12; 5:9;
Titus 1:6
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Deacons and elders must be “one-woman men.” Widows who qualify to receive long-term, ongoing help from the church must have been faithful to their husbands. |
Next time I’ll look at the first passage, the biblical foundation of marriage found in Gen 2:24.
33 Comments
You cannot believe how long ive been searching for something like this. Went through 10 pages of Google results without finding anything. Very first page on Bing. There was this…. Gotta start using that more often
I’m glad you found it and hope it helps! I’ve been hearing good things about bing. I’d be more enthusiastic about it if it weren’t a Microsoft thing. Leaving one massive scary company (Google) to support another massive, even scarier company (Microsoft) is not a happy prospect. I really wish a small company would out-Google Google, if anyone would.
Two Books by the Same Author…MUST READ for those seeking the truth on What the bible REALLY says about Marriage and Divorce. This is an easy read and easy to understand when read from front to back…Grab your King James Bible and hang on…you are going to get ALL of the answers you seek in this book (these books). YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED! And just for a little taste…The ONLY way a person in be let loose from marriage is in death, hence, “Till DEATH do us part”.
Till Death Do Us Part: What the Bible Really says about Marriage and Divorce by Joseph A. Webb TH.D., PH.D
and…
Divorce and Remarriage: The Trojan Horse Within the Church Whom Shall We Then Believe? by Joseph A. Webb TH.D., PH.D. and Patricia L. Webb PH.D
The Truth will set you free!
I am somewhat confused on the marriage/divorce issue. I was very briefly married (at the Mall of America!) To a man who was clearly not capable of entering into such a contract (although, to be fair, neither was I. We were both young, and stupid.) I soon realized that he was pretty much using me for a place to live, while he sat home and played video games. He didn’t care when I became pregnant, as he didn’t want to be a father. So, I became a solo parent soon after, became responsible, and finally grew up.
Can a marriage ever be invalid? I have become a Catholic. I am aware that I can have it annuled. But is this right? I know what the bible says about divorce. Was this ever a real marriage? We signed a piece of paper at the mall, for crying out loud! I admit that I am lonely. I do not date, because in my mind, I may be commiting a horrible sin. I am sad, because at the age of 35, I am going to be too old to start thinking of having a real family “someday” I never had a family of my own. I never had a father (He died before I was born) I never had any siblings. I hate the thought, that I cannot have a family now, and get married, because I made a stupid mistake at age 19.
Is a marriage always valid???
Hi Sara. My heart breaks to hear about your situation. Your missing father, that wicked husband of yours—a terrible loneliness has been thrust upon you. You absolutely need support in your loneliness and it may be harder and harder for you to find it as you grow older. Do you have friends that you can really connect with closely? I pray you do, or that you find them soon and that they stick with you for life.
Before I give my advice, let me just remind you that I am no kind of expert in this topic. I am not a counselor. I am not a pastor. I am a Christian with some years and some little study of Scripture under my belt—nothing more. So I offer this advice in a sense of brotherhood, not with any sense of knowing anything you don’t know or knowing God any better than you.
Having said that, I will offer two pieces of advice. I warn you now that these two pieces of advice will sound almost like opposites. That’s intended.
First, do not avoid marriage simply out of a sense of guilt. We as Christians must not do good only because of our fear of judgment. We must do good out of a sense of love for God and a desire to live in joyous righteousness. You said, “I do not date because I may be committing a horrible sin.” I applaud your desire to avoid sin. But I wonder whether you may see God as a sort of police officer, ready to crack down if you date or remarry. It may be that God, your Father, out of his love for you does not want you to remarry. That may be. But ask him what he wants for you. Don’t ask him what law he is holding up against you. Do you see the difference? God holds up laws against no one, but he wants everyone to be righteous from the heart outward. Read Micah 6:3–8 and Galatians 3:23–4:7 for some food for thought on this difference.
So my first piece of advice, if I say it in a nutshell, is that God may possibly smile upon you remarrying even though you were married before.
My second piece of advice is to take your first marriage absolutely seriously. Yes, you actually married that man. Your marriage was valid. It was not invalid. And here’s how I know that: you got pregnant. If you got pregnant, then you must have had sex with him. If you had sex with him—even just once!—then the Bible sees you as married. You’ll find this idea in 1 Corinthians 6:15–16, where Paul says that a person who has sex with a prostitute has become “one flesh” with her. You’ll recognize “one flesh” as the core biblical image for marriage (Gen 2:24; Matt 19:5; Mark 10:8; Eph 5:31). You’ll also find the idea in places like Exodus 22:16, which says that if a man has sex with a virgin he has to take her into his house as a wife. Deuteronomy 22:28 gives a similar idea.
Now the obligation is really with the man rather than the woman. In other words when the Bible says, “Have sex with her once and you’re married!”, it’s really telling the man that if he’s going to take advantage of a girl, he’d better be prepared to take care of her and her babies for the rest of his life. That’s the deal. It is not primarily talking to you as a woman. But the principle that the Bible establishes is pretty clear. To have sex is to be married. Sex is a joining act, and this joining is permanent until death. We can see this when we consider the emotional attachments that form during sex (though people sometimes work hard to push these aside), the memories that never pass away, in the possibility of pregnancy which even the fiercest birth control can’t entirely erase, and in the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. All of these things are physical and mental reminders of a spiritual truth: sex joins people forever.
So yes, you were actually married. You still are married. The Bible never discusses any way of ending a marriage. In the Bible, a divorce is really just a “sending away”—a separation.
All of that being said, I go back to my first piece of advice. Don’t make your decision to date or remarry based on guilt or fear. Don’t avoid marriage because you think God will arrest you and put you in jail. Make your decision in the company of other children of God, and make it prayerfully. I don’t know which way it will or even should lead.
Finally, again, make sure you have good friends. It’s never a good idea to marry out of a sense of need. Ask God to deal with your loneliness. Then, when you’re calm and confident and content, ask him whether he would smile upon a new marriage for you.
I hope that helps.
I don’t understand the divorced concept either, I was young and naive I got married at the age of 23 to a so called minister, he was very abusive, he punched, kicked, slapped, beat me, called me names, and even put me in the hospital with a spranged arm. I battled with this for a long time, then I came to realize that God wouldn’t want this for any of his children. I had no choice but to leave he would have killed me, am I wrong for leaving this abusive marriage?
Mary,
Most of your questions can be answered here:
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
I am DEEPLY grieved at the advice and study put forth by those involved in this website and the websites led to by the links supplied here. Clearly, a lack of proper understanding is evident when anyone EVER counsels someone to get a divorce, but further more, does so in the name of scripture. While an individual need not physically remain in the proximity of an abusive spouse, there is NO Biblical provision for divorce. The Bible doesn’t supply an “easy out” because our situation is too hard. There are verses all over the place that make this clear. The Bible also makes NO provision for divorce due to unfaithfulness. It says to let an unbelieving spouse go, but this is a passive action. While there is ANY hope of reconciliation ( the other party is still a
I’ve and unmarried) the other partner is to remain single. when in a situation of having married a divorcee, God does not require. Divorce on the grounds of an “adulterous” marriage. Rather, he requires repentance on the part of both partners and a return to fellowship. Finally, there is no provision for remarriage if you are divorced UNTIL the spouse is dead. God simply does not recognize divorce as an annulment of a covenant made before Him. Marriage is an analogy of God’s relationship to us. Although we, like the children of Israel have been extremely unfaithful to God, He has never abandoned us or divorced us for our unfaithfulness. When we truly understand that this life is NOT about our comfort and pleasure and living the “American Dream”, we start to see that we may just have to live with our decisions and allow God to redeem hard times for His glory.
I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. kudos
Hi Gianmarco. Thanks for the complement. I made this theme my self, but based it on the “Thematic” WordPress theme.
I’m sure in all the years that you have been separated, that your husband has had sexual relations with other women. If he has, this constitutes adultery, and you can biblically leave him and divorce (with no guilt). Find out if he has slept with any woman since your separation, and then go and start your new life! God bless!
I think asha’s comment is in reply to Sara’s question. It’s a good point.
Hi i have a question, i have been in love with this guy for years now…eventually he got married and is now going through a divorce…is it a sin that i get involved with him…or if he re-marries or even if my heart belongs to him. I believe that i will not be able to love anyone as i do him , thus my decision to never get married because i will be cheating my spouse. This guy also loves me, this i a,m certain of..however due to circumstances we were never allowed to be together. Please help me cuz i do love him and i never want to see him hurt, i just wanna make him happy…
It sounds pretty clear what you want to do. So what is holding you back? It sounds almost as if you’re asking for permission to do what you think is wrong. No one has the power to give you that permission.
I have a Question, I’ve been reading what is said about marriage & diviorce for Christian’s. I was (is) married to a man that there was sexual unfaithfulness , and abuse. I left the marriage, and I did sometime later begin to see another man which says that then we both were wrong of adultery. My ex-husband filed for divorce when he wanted to marry his now wife. I agreed to the divorce, and since i’ve remarried 8 years later. Now this is where it gets tricky, my now husband was married to a woman that had already been married and divorced her husband prior to my now husband. So does that mean that in Christ’s eyes my husband isn’t truly married to anyone in God’s eyes and just living a adultery marriage. Or is thare any way I am free from my exstrainged husband that cheated, lied, and as far as I know never knew Christ? Or am I stuck living in a new marriage where my now husband isn’t truly mine in God’s eyes.
I think that both conviction and freedom are important here.
First, you need to recognize—and the tone of your message suggests that you do—that you, and everyone else involved, totally screwed up your past marriages. It sounds like sheer carnage. It must have been deeply destructive to several people, including your spouses, your other sexual partners, and if you had them, most of all your children. You and your first husband could have chosen to remain faithful and stay together, but you and he sinned by throwing away your “till death do us part” commitments. If you haven’t dealt with that sin, you should. Asking God for forgiveness would be a good first step—he does forgive. If communication with your first husband is possible, asking him for forgiveness would help heal you and him and everyone else involved.
So, conviction: you sinned and you should address that sin.
But freedom is also involved. I don’t believe, based on the way I see God responding to sinners in the Bible, that God would see your current marriage as invalid. I think you should accept it and run with it, make it as loving and healthy as you can. It’s true that Christ’s words about second marriages being “adultery” should give you pause about getting married a second time. But now you’re in a second marriage. I think you should make the best of it, and rest in the assurance that God wants loving and healthy relationships wherever there are relationships.
How Grace Does Not Stop Remarriage from Being Sin
by Myron Horst
The topic of the church granting a remarried couple grace often comes up with the subject of divorce and remarriage.
The argument that the church can grant a remarried couple grace to continue in their remarriage relationship has become a stumbling block for many.
To understand grace better, I did an in-depth study of grace in the Bible. I found some interesting facts.
The main fact is that grace is from God. Most of the verses in the New Testament that use the word grace also state that it is from God or Jesus. Nowhere is there any verse that the church has any authority to grant another grace for their sins. We can bless another with God’s grace, but not from us.
When the church grants another person grace in a sin area so that the sin is no longer viewed as sin, the church is setting themselves up as God and making the church equal with God.
This line of thinking has occurred before in Jeremiah 7:9-10: “Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?”
They thought they had received grace to continue in their sins but they had not.
Grace is not an allowance to sin a little more than what the Bible says.
Grace is not a license from God or the church for one to continue in sin as many would lead us to believe.
Grace is not God overlooking our sin as we continue to sin after we know better.
Romans 6:1-2 “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?”
Romans 6:15 “What then? shall we sin, because we are not under the law, but under grace? God forbid.”
There is no grace for those who willfully continue to sin and don’t want to stop or change because it would be “too difficult”.
God’s grace is not a license to do what is right in one’s own eyes, and follow one’s own beliefs, even if it is contrary to Scripture.
Who forgives sin? Can Christians grant forgiveness for sin against God? No. We can only grant forgiveness for offences to us.
We cannot grant a person grace for offences that they are committing against God when they have not repented to God and stopped their sin.
When Jesus through grace forgave the woman caught in adultery, He also told her to do something. He said “go and sin no more!” Jesus did not give the woman grace so that she could continue to commit adultery. Jesus told her she had to stop committing adultery.
When a divorced and remarried couple repents and receives forgiveness from God for the adultery that they have committed, they must change so that they can also obey Jesus’ command to go and sin no more.
If they go on sinning and committing adultery they will not receive God’s grace but rather incur His judgment. There cannot be grace and mercy without justice.
When a person realizes that they have sinned by divorcing their spouse and remarrying another, and they go to God and confess their sin and FORSAKE their sin of remarriage (get out of the remarriage/ which is an adulterous relationship in God’s sight), God forgives them.
It is only through the grace of God that they receive forgiveness. Without God’s grace none of us would be saved because we have all sinned and come short of the glory of God.
“A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives.”
1 Corinthians 7:39
Find the TRUTH at:
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
What is Significant about Adultery in Remarriage?
When Jesus said, “whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery” He said something significant…
When Jesus made that statement, He was stating that divorce does not end the first marriage. Some people have assumed that divorce ends the first marriage, but Jesus said that it is not true.
The sin of adultery can only occur if one or both of the persons involved is married. If neither of the persons are married the term adultery cannot be used.
When Jesus said that “whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery”, He was stating that when a man marries a divorced woman he is living with another man’s wife and therefore is guilty of adultery.
God states that the sexual intercourse of a divorced and remarried couple is adultery. Therefore each time they have sexual intercourse they commit an act of adultery. As they continue to have sexual relations and there is no repentance, it becomes a state of adultery. Therefore, adultery in remarriage is both an act each time it occurs, and a continuing state of sinning.
Divorce does not make a man or a woman single again. Divorce does not end a person’s first marriage. That is why a person commits adultery when they marry and live with a divorced person.
Do we get the significance of Jesus’ use of the word adultery? Adultery could not occur in remarriage if divorce ended the first marriage.
Adultery can only occur in remarriage because the divorced spouse is still married to their first marriage partner in Jesus’ judgment.
Jesus is the Judge we will stand before, for our hearing on Judgment Day and it is important that we understand our Judge’s reasoning and logic if we want to enter Heaven.
The significance of the sin of adultery in remarriage is that divorce does not end a person’s first marriage!
God has joined the husband and wife together as one. “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.’”.
Man’s civil action of divorce in the court system of this earth, does not end the “one flesh” aspect of the marriage that God has joined together.
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
I have to say SOME of the things you say are not truth…God doesn’t like divorce…I know this…but if your spouse is cheating on you and has no remorse whatsoever and you leave them you ARE free to remarry. I have done my research…Believe me.
Would you share what you discovered in your research?
Hello!
I have a question? I am confused and wanting out but wanting my marriage to work. Me and my husband has been separted for three months. He left without us discussing anything. He text me one weekend when he was out of town and I was also, to tell me that he was done. I feel like I have done things in the marriage to make him fall. So I asked if we could work it out. He pretty much said we will take it one day at a time. We still went to the same church and pretty much the only time I talked to him. Finally one day a month later I busted him out cheating. Having his mistress on the phone for him to hear. I also seen the phone bill calls and text. After all of that we still sleep together through all of this randomly. I explained to him that I wanted it to work. I apologized to him for my mouth and the way I handled things in the marriage. He apolized to me but did not say anything about him being sorry about him cheating not saying he would not do it anymore and still have not talked about it to me. He tells me that we are going to work on them sometimes in between time he may say that he is getting a divorce, his getting apartment. He comes over a lil more and do not stay long. He does not support the house at all because he does not work and if he does it is only part time. I firgure he pays his mom to stay with her. He have not had a job in the last year of marriage. We have been married for 2 in a half years. He was a hard worker moved me from my hometown and payed for my wedding and did not hath to right away to work. Sorry so much background. I want to know does it sound like I have gave it my all and he is playing with my emotions? Do you think he just needs to be delivered? (we did go to counseling times before in our marriage it did not help. but never for the cheating. he do not want to go back to counseling) Should I move on and file for divorce or…….?
Diffculty situation
That is a difficult situation, and I’m hesitant to give advice. I hope you’ll discuss the situation in depth with close friends, family, and perhaps a pastor (if you’ve got one whose opinion you trust) before you take any steps.
All that said, I have two pieces of advice: one biblical, the other personal.
Biblically, you are within your rights to leave him. I never counsel anyone to divorce immediately—try a separation first, even if it’s for a whole year, if you possibly can. I say that because that gives time for the situation to develop and perhaps resolve without the daily pressure of trying to relate. But all the major biblical passages on divorce mention adultery as a legitimate reason. See e.g. Matt 5:32; Matt 19:3–9; Mark 10:2–12. 1 Cor 7:10–16 might also apply in your case. So if it’s true that the Bible ever gives warrant for divorce (and I think it is), then your situation is the one situation where it’s warranted.
Personally, I would also advise you—on the basis of what you’ve said—to move out or to kick him out—that is, to seek legal separation or perhaps divorce. There are some elements to your story that make me think that this man isn’t serious about the marriage and is unlikely to turn around. Specifically: you haven’t been married long (2.5 years); he’s been cheating; he hasn’t kept a job; he has refused counseling; he refused to directly talk about his adultery. It seems to me—and I am no kind of expert, just a guy with some years under his belt—that these are all risk factors that make me feel that you’ll be fighting an uphill battle if you decide to fight to keep your marriage.
Again, I am no expert in marriage, nor in law. I’m not a pastor. I’m a Bible student with more training and experience than the average Christian, perhaps. And I’m going purely on the basis of one brief comment to a blog post. Please, seek the advice of friends and trustworthy counselors before you do anything.
Thanks for your advice! You have confirmed everyone else advice to me.
Thanks AGAIN!
I have a question. I’ve been talking to a guy and he is a Christian and he had shared with me that he had been married before but his wife had cheated on him during their marriage and lied.to.him about one of her kids being his and she really hurt him. He is a really sweet guy and we both said we aren’t any hurry to date because he got divorced four months ago and I just got out of a bad relationship. I’ve been praying about it and both of us had said we were leaving it up to God I’m just worried if it would be wrong to date him? I’m not sure.what to do.
I suspect that a relationship formed from two people on the rebound from prior relationships, and one from a bad marriage, would raise endless troubles. And how do you know whether his perspective on his marriage is accurate? I’d advise against it.
My husband and I got a divorce 9 years ago. We were married for 5 years and have 3 children. He was the one who filed for divorce because he thinks that I cheated on him. I didn’t cheat on him but he is not willing to hear my side of the story. I have wanted to put our relationship back together and family and friends have been in support of that. However, our pastor is telling him that it would be wrong for us to remarry. We still attend the same church that we were married in and still have the same friends. He claims that he had married another woman and divorced her for sexual unfaithfulness. However, I don’t believe he got married because their was never a divorce hearing, nothing was published in the paper. He won’t admit his wrong doings because he is too proud to admit his mistakes. I still desire to put our life back together and I do still love him even through everything I have endured from his wrong doings. Any advice would be helpful.
Hi please advice. My friend is divorced without knowing by the husband, and the house was forfited to him . after 7yrs the husband reconciled with her. They are staying together. She is not happy.She says she did it because of their son & she had no place to stay. The woman love’s God. She feels that she made a mistake staying with him. She doesn’t know what to do.There’s no afection,the ex-husband doesn’t involve her in planning of anything. The question is are this two people married or what they are doing is abomination. Please advice.
I have read the verses and others interpretations concerning divorce and remarriage many times, but still find myself fearful about my upcoming marriage. I want it to be recognized and blessed by God and have asked him for this. At times I feel peaceful about it but at others I still feel disturbed.
I am divorced. I married in 2001. My husband was unfaithful with two different people and I filed for and we divorced in 2005. (I don’t think this is relevant in any way but just in case it might be, he is remarried to a woman from an affair). My fiance was married in 2002. His wife was unfaithful with a coworker. I’m amazed when I hear of how hard he fought to maintain the marriage inspite of the infidelity because of his desire to uphold his vow before God. However, after many attempts at reconciliation, his wife filed for the divorce and it was complete in 2008. His wife is now remarried to the man she was unfaithful with. My fiance nor myself have any children.
My fiance is a wonderful man and while I know that neither of us come close in any way to pleasing our God I believe that we both truly have hearts that want to do that. I believe that Jerad wants me to be a better person who is closer to God and he encourages me to do that. We pray for one another and when things get dark we have on many occassions reminded each other to “look up”.
I know that God is quick to forgive and wants us to have joyful lives. He has blessed me beyond measure inspite of my constant sins. I don’t think He will stop blessing me if I get remarried but I want to know if His written instructions to us found in the Bible gives us permission to remarry.
Do you truly believe the Bible says that we are allowed to marry each other without this being sin/adultry because of the circumstances of our divorces? Do you believe that a second marriage with these circumstances can be recognized by God?
Thank you so much for the information you’ve provided on this site.
I am divorced for 6 months now, my husband cheated on me, he is now married again. I have 2 kids, i like to say they are all mine/only mine. Anyway… how do i go on? I still feel my heart broken and cry the nights and is very hard when my girl asks about him (she is 3, the boy is smaller). The story is long, simple, of no importance since i never cheated and i can’t get away of the feeling that we could have tried harder, that i did something or more things very wrong or hurt him somehow very deeply inside and i was never given the chance nor the help to change – i feel this constant guilt for details…- so that he would have loved me more (sorry, english is not my 1st language). I think about him almost all the time, if not for the kids, i am powerless, i just don’t understand and i am so so so afraid for when the kids will grow, that he will take them or influence them… How do i live with these feelings?! How do i go to sleep, to work? My life wasn’t prepared for this. Most of the time, it’s too much! I am not angry, i am just sad and feel like going crazy, i just can’t accept what happens,. He treats me like i am a stranger. This is the worst. It’s unhuman, we have children together, we were married as christians, how can man be so unnatural, all so sudden?
Dear mamiofsm,
You are not alone. We must remember that Jesus took care of everything on the cross.Lift your head up my sister! We are more than conqurers, we’ve overcome! Jesus is right there waiting for you with open arms….Stand on the word of God! What has helped me is finding a scripture /promise of God which speaks to my spirit. When you’re feeling betrail, loneliness, etc, speak that scripture in the atmosphere. I will leave you with mine………
Psalms 118:8 (NLT)
It is better to trust the Lord than to put confidence in people.
Take time to go through the word,, and read! It will help. God said he wil never leave us nor forsake us. Man will fail us (men and women)., so lift your head up my sister! I will pray for you that God ease your pain and placce your mind at peace…Remember speak the word over yourself and your chiildren.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Dr. Albert Mohler recently interviewed Dr. Stephen Baskerville.
Dr. Baskerville is a professor at Patrick Henry College.
Baskerville: Americans would be very shocked if they knew what was going on in this country under the name of —“no fault divorce.” Most people are unaware of it until they are sucked into it.
What we call divorce has become essentially a euphemism for the government and social service agencies to invade families—to ruin a spouse who has done nothing wrong; to plunder the spouse for everything they have and they are powerless to avoid any of it when a no fault divorce is pursued against them.
This huge government “divorce machine” that has grown up in the last four decades around “no fault divorce” needs to be stopped and stopped soon.
Mohler: In your new book you demonstrate how “no fault divorce” has brought enormous consequences. Can you help spell those out for us? I think an awful lot of Americans, especially those who are younger, aren’t aware of how no fault divorce works.
The government helps one spouse abandon his family with a mere signature to a piece of paper stating that he and his spouse have irreconcilable differences. He no longer wants to care for his family, so the government releases him with no regard for the rest of the members of that family.
Baskerville: That’s right. The term “no fault” understates the problem. It really is unilateral divorce—involuntary divorce. It allows one spouse to force divorce on the other without the involuntary spouse having done anything wrong.
In other words, your spouse can divorce you without you having done anything legally wrong or agreeing to the divorce.
In fact, it goes further than that. Maggie Gallagher … describes it as the abolition of marriage, and that is really what it is.
The marriage contract is not in any way legally binding anymore. It can be broken without consequence by one spouse unilaterally—the other spouse has no choice.
Divorce is simply forced on that spouse. If the wife can’t afford the house, she is throw out.
Mohler: Let’s just revisit the situation before “no fault divorce.” At that time society privileged marriage as a contract above other contracts because it was understood to be more than a contract.
Marriage was understood to be the basic building block of civilization. I think that’s what people don’t understand.
Without marriage being permanent, why would anyone give their daughter away to someone, if that someone can use her, then leave her and the children when he finds someone new?
No fault divorce allows this to go on everyday. You don’t have to have any cause. One spouse can simply decide that he or she doesn’t want to be married anymore and there is nothing the other spouse can do to prevent the divorce.
Isn’t that the ultimate issue here?
Baskerville: That is correct. “No fault divorce” has put the nails in the coffin for marriage.
Mohler: I’ve been concerned for years about what I’ve called the divorce industrial complex. You really do a great job in your book in demonstrating how there is an entire pernicious economy based upon and encouraging and facilitating divorce and it is huge.
Baskerville: It is huge, that’s right. And what’s most important about it is this huge divorce machine is government based. It’s not just private entrepreneurs in this case, it is government officials. It’s lawyers, it’s judges and it’s the huge social services bureaucracies … it’s a huge entourage that is not only profiting from divorce, but increasing government power over private lives in very dangerous ways.
That is why the fight to stop “no fault divorce” is so vicious. A huge industry is profiting from the absolute destruction of families.
http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html
I have a question because I do not understand completely so I’ll use my example. I have an abusive husband who I cheated on before coming to Christ and knowing Gods law. Then he took my children and abandoned me for 8 years. He ended up having another child while we were still married. Now we are going through a divorce. I have someone who is a believer who I dearly love and want to marry one day. According to Gods law is that possible. Or am I supposed to be single for the rest of my life? This is a question I have been tormented with ever since I came into the Light. Please if you can, help shed some truth that can only come from the word of God.
I committed adultery, shortly after me and my wife separated, because she said she wasn’t in love with me anymore. We went to counseling but she wasn’t able to move on from it. can we both remarry?